New Blood
written by Leslie Fox
at Tuesday, March 4, 2008
A torrid sexual scandal, which we are legally constrained from describing, has resulted in the loss of two longtime staff members. Ivenko 20 and Tina Sanders had been the The Sub-Cranial Cavern since the beginning and they will be missed, but we feel confident that Bag O'Hammers and Rye Buttle will be able to fill their shoes admirably. Bag O'Hammers is a bag of hammers with many years experience in the field of hammering things while Rye Buttle is newer in the field, but has a fluid faculty with the written word as well as a fiery temperament. Both gentlemen have unimpeachable copyrights.
March 4, 2008 at 8:13 PM
I really miss Ivenko 20 and Tina Sanders. Would you consider an in memoriam section?
Also, some one has been posting as you over at Bern-it-Up!
March 5, 2008 at 7:59 AM
Bernard, I don't like Jackie Chan as much as I should. I'm sorry, I'm trying to change. I've been taking in a bunch of Buster Keaton, Jet Lee, and David Hasselhoff. I figure that if I take the Chan in his component parts he'll go down easier.
March 5, 2008 at 4:33 PM
Here's all you need to know:
1) Way more physically gifted than Buster Keaton (not even close). Although, he is almost as old.
2) Actually uses Kung Fu to express more than "Look how cool I look and how few facial expressions I can make."-- like Jet Lee.
3) Way funnier singer than the Hoff! (also, not even close)
Keep studying!
PS. I will be starting a picket line outside the offices of The Sub-Cranial Cavern to protest the firing of Ivenko 20 and Tina Sanders. Concerned citizens will rise up and Ivenko and Tina's voices will be heard!
March 5, 2008 at 4:51 PM
Ivenko 20 and Tina Sanders can try and spin it anyway they want, but at heart they know why they're gone and why they can never return.