Stay Hydrated
Why does the water in Philadelphia taste so damn good? It’s the drugs. It’s recently been reported that there are trace amounts of 56 pharmaceuticals in our water. An insider told me that the number is actually closer to 15, that they tested for 56 and a PR guy screwed the pooch in the press release. Still, either number is enough to make give us the official top score for stuff that isn’t water in our water. Water department officials have been spinning like dervishes, saying things like there are more drugs in our water because they are looking for more drugs in the water. And there are people who are upset by the whole thing, people who think they are too good for water, they want hot and cold running Dasani.
I say people are getting worried about the wrong things as usual. The water department needs to play this as a positive. Given the amount of microscopic poo particles in the air and on that sandwich you are about to eat we should be glad to have a full spectrum of advanced antibiotics and animal tranquilizers in our drinking water. If people are still worried about the drugs in the water instead the shit on their toothbrush offer to install them in a hermetically sealed bubble so that they can be safe from all the big bad hormones they are exposed to every time they take a sip of delicious pharmaceutical grade non-name brand water.
March 14, 2008 at 9:23 AM
Can a doctor recommend a person drink plenty of water with this information to hand? What are trace concentrations anyway? Could this be public relations for a water bottling company?
March 14, 2008 at 10:17 AM
I haven't been able to find any further details about the water. I'm guessing that most of these drugs are absorbed by the intended user and so whatever enters our water supply is a trace amount. Caffeine is one of the drugs that is nearly universally present in tap water. Caffeine is also one of the more powerful drugs on the planet by mass and nobody seems to react to it in the water. I'm guessing the amounts are very small indeed. Anyway the water dept. insists that despite these finding the water is perfectly safe to drink.
I did recently see that the amount of recommended water in the day has been reduced, and that most fluids can count towards the daily recommended volume. Sadly, scotch is still bad for you.
March 15, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Got to watch which tap you tap in to.
March 15, 2008 at 2:41 PM
Now that the "drugs in the water" scandal has broken, Barry Bonds can claim that his enlarged head resulted from an innocent desire to flush steroids out of his system! There's hope for him yet!