You Can Do It

Sometimes life calls for a bit of indulgence. Just some small treat that makes living worthwhile, a little nubbin of joy, a small self granted reward for another successfully completed day on this earth. Your boss may not appreciate you, the opposite sex may think you are dangerous and disgusting, and maybe your favorite bartender will call the cops if he ever sees you again (you know what you did) but that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. Take a moment to spend a little quality time with that handsome chap in the mirror. You may be surprised at how much fun you can have.

Say you’re feeling bad because your falling behind with work, projects keep piling up, and you just can’t seem to get anything done. Nothing is going to make you feel quite as good as finishing something, so order a large pizza and don’t be afraid of toppings. Around the fifth of sixth slice you might start hearing a little voice in your head, “hey, you can finish this tomorrow,” or “if I eat another bite I’m going to vomit and pass out.” Don’t listen to these negative thoughts, when Shackleton was marooned on Elephant Island he didn’t give up just because he had 800 miles of icy Antarctic Ocean between himself and rescue, he just got into his small open boat with his few remaining able bodied men and sailed to safety. If Shackleton could do that then you can cram down those last few slices. Once your finished you may be tempted to dispose of the box and shower off the pepperoni grease. Don’t do it; you want to bask in the moment. Every time you see that dark grease stained cardboard you can say, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” For extra points you can take down a six-pack of Klondike bars. You’ll want to wash them down with scotch; nothing else cuts through that rich ice-cream residue in your mouth like that mix of smoke, peat, and fire.

Hugs, kisses, and keep on keeping on! < /span>